sleepless

Its been a week and its been a week of sleepless nights.

I have this feeling that I've forgotten how to deal with pain. I've forgotten how to set aside the pain and just smile na lang.

I've had too many heartaches and failed relationships. This one's different. I know, lahat naman iba ibang klase rin ng case. Pero I'm telling you, when I say different, IBA talaga. Maybe because I fell in love, he fell in love but there's no commitment involved. We've done every couple could've done. Exchanging and non-stop I love you's, the sweet talks, communication, dates, hugging, kissing, etc. Commitment lang ang wala.

And ang naiiba pa, he's not my boyfriend but I'm so in love with him, at nasaktan ako sa nag-end na affair. Naghiwalay kame hindi dahil di kame magkasundo, hindi dahil nawala yung feelings, hindi dahil he/I met someone new, not because nawalan ng trust, at hindi rin katulad ng ibang hiwalayan issues. Naghiwalay kame dahil hindi pwede. Wala kaming future na pupuntahan. Gustuhin man namin magkasama or magsama for the rest of our lives, but we both know it's never gonna happen and its not possible.

Pero uulitin ko, alam ko mali ang pinasok ko/namin.

It's just sad to end something you really want to last. We had the right love at the wrong time.

And these past few days, I've done nothing but think of him and think of everything that had happen. At isuksok sa kukote ko na hindi talaga kame para sa isa't isa, that he really is for her.

But whats really making me sad is that I'm never gonna be able to share the feelings that I have for him. I can no longer make him smile and feel loved.

I know, tama naman kayong lahat, I'll get by. Malalampasan ko ito, and makakakita ako ng mas better sa kanya at SINGLE, yung akin lang. Pero, baket ganon... Sya lang ang gusto ko? I know, I know, lahat naman tayo sinasabi yan.. Sya lang gusto ko, di nako makakahanap ng katulad nya, etc...

Sa ilang beses ko na na-in love, at sa ilang beses nako nasaktan... Ito lang ang nawala saken na ayoko na palitan. Parang ayoko na kung hindi rin lang sya. Stubborn... Hehehe

I've been crying every night, morning... When I'm in the ofc and pag walang nakakakita saken, yuyuko na lang ako and iiyak, kahit nga nasa cr ako, napapaiyak pa rin ako. Tuwing naglalakad ako paikot ikot dito sa bahay. *sigh*


Anyway, alam nyo ba.. Hehehehe may ghost ata dito sa house.. Nyak.

May nakita kapatid ko and si mang Manny the other day. Hirap explain kung pano ang saan pero lahat kame kinalibutan. Sino naman kaya ang nagpakita...

Labels: senti

chEr sribbled @ 10:23 AM